February 2010 Full Moon

February 2010 Full Moon

by Dawn NicDarrah

Each month I look forward to seeing that Full Moon ::grin:: It is something that acts as a thread through so many memories, reminding me of all the times I have sat in the darkness awaiting the arrival of the silvery moon . . . a reminder that even in the darkest of times there is still light waiting to embrace us.

I recall this one full moon event when I was pregnant with my eldest daughter . . . I was camping with a large group of friends and folks of a like mind . . . I needed the time away from 'home', time to think and just be . . . with only two months to go before delivering (turned out to be one month as I went into labor early) living in a very unfortunate environment (long story not intended to be shared here - just know the marriage failed and I should have known better than to stay as long as I did) . . . this time away was something I needed to bolster my self confidence. It is hard not to feel happy when you are surrounded by waves of friends and friendly people who are authentically thrilled to see and be around a woman with a full womb, people who would break out in song just for the sheer joy of it or folks drumming and dancing well into the night. Everywhere I turned there were smiling people, warm hugs, and creativity flowing. On one of the nights there was a drumming circle up by the community firepit, the silhouettes of people drumming and dancing against the back drop of the rising flames looked as if it was out of some fantasy . . . and it called to me . . . the gentle heartbeat, hands pounding on skins, feet kicking up dust . . . I swayed to the rhythm as I made my way up to the fire circle slowly and just as I reached the outer rim of the low stone wall around the firepit the people in the circle turned towards me and started shouting "Here she comes! Come On! Come On! She's almost here! LOOK!" I froze on the spot, confused . . . "Who? Me?" I could see people pointing in my direction as someone shouted "She's FULL!" I looked at my swollen belly then up at the shadowy figures, but they were no longer without definition, their faces became illuminated . . . but by what? What could be so bright that . . . Ah ha!!!! I turned to look behind me and there was the biggest moon I had ever seen. It was so intense that it took my breath away for a brief moment. The location was very rural, in a little valley fed by hot springs so the terrain around was rocky in areas and lush with woodlands in others. There were no city lights to interfere with the natural glow given off by the moon . . . and she was SOooo bright. The fire was no match for her radiance. I shifted from confusion (thinking the crowd was calling to me acknowledging my footsteps upon the path towards them) to realizing they were calling to the beautiful Full Moon! I felt so full with light, so full of life at that very moment. My heart was pounding and although the shouts were not for me, I felt blessed to be a part of that moment. The drumming started up again as the moon cleared the ridge it was rising from . . . the whole valley illuminated . . . my bare feet caressing the earth on a beautiful night in good company and a tune with no name needed. I remember seeing tiny spots glowing on the ground around me, little glow worms everywhere, illuminating the edges of the tall grass along the path as if suddenly charged by the moon. Forget Disney, I had my own Fantasia springing up all around me! (LOL and no, there were no drugs involved thank you! Not my thing when life offers up so many natural 'highs' to get the pulse racing, places that inspire and bring a person up out of themselves so they can see things from another perspective.)
It is a Full Moon I will never forget . . . linked with so many other Full Moons like the last eclipse that my eldest dauther and I saw with my mother-in-law before she departed from this world . . . or an eclipse in February of 2008 that, as I sat and watched the event, I knew many of my friends were watching from their respective locations, including a dear friend in Glastonbury . . . I felt so connected. There was the Full Moon that fought for attention on the night of the Leonid Meteor Shower in November of 2001 as I nursed my youngest daughter all bundled up in layers of blankets and counted the meteors with my eldest daughter into the wee hours . . . other drumming circles on Full Moon nights out at Goat Rock Beach . . . there were moonlit nights back in New York that I recall too . . . nights wandering in the woods on the campus of SUNY Purchase or nights I took my summer camp kids up on the mountain top for a sleep over in the Catskills . . . each event threaded like some quilt of memories sewn to keep me warm.

Weather permitting, I never miss face time with each Full Moon. It might seem silly to take photos of the Full Moon every month . . . but it is a way for me to capture the moment, whether eventful or not, and catalog it, strengthening the link from the present to the past and into the future. It is even more magical when I get to share it with my daughters and they are as attentive as I am . . . measuring the cycles, noting the moons position, time it rises and sets . . . it is another memory to share as they take note of the passing of time with me and we sit beneath the moon observing and recalling together.